Dancing with Demeter

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you into something else, is the greatest accomplishment.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

My hands were shaking. My body was hot and clammy. The loud thudding of my rapid heartbeat blocked out any other noise. This is it, I thought. The moment you have envisioned for so long is here. I practically ran down the hall to my co-worker’s office. I walked in, shut the door and as a huge grin spread across my face she exclaimed, “you got it!?”

I’m scared I said. Maybe I should wait and think things over. The boss is stressed out today and this isn’t good timing. Eccentric laughter from my co-worker. “Your not scared of anything,” she said, “just go do it!”

I went back to my office, took some deep breaths and closed my eyes. You can do this I told myself. I printed out a copy of the resignation letter I had written weeks ago. I stood with the letter in hand and paused in the doorway to my office. Like an invisible force, the courage swelled up from somewhere inside. I pushed through the fear and knocked on my boss’s door.

You’re not going to like this I said, and I know this isn’t good timing. I held the letter to her in my outstretched hand. What’s this she asked? I waited for it. As the realization of the letter’s content sunk in she blurted out, “are you shitting me?”

After it was all over, relief swept through me. My hands stopped shaking and my heartbeat began to slow. The next hour was a blur of text messages, online chats, emails, and Facebook updates to spread the news. Then it hits me–the surreal reality that this is all happening.

We are about to leave the homestead we have so painstakenly and lovingly tended to for the past three and half years. After four and a half years and in the midst of a bleak economy, I’m going to leave my full time job which provides the major source of income for my family. We’ll be far away from family and friends. Off to a place we’ve visited only once–with no formal plans for where we will live once we get there.

Sound crazy? Perhaps to most. I’ve always been a bit different than the mainstream. I’m not worried about keeping up with the Joneses or with blindly following the trajectory society so conveniently lays out for us.

As my blog’s subtitle states, this is about a journey towards freedom and abundance. I’m ready to simplify–be debt free, free from a full time job, and free from the responsibilities of living in a large home. I want to take risks and have adventures. I’m more interested in following my heart, charting my own way, and yes, dancing to a beat of a different drum.

I’ve waited for it, agonized over it, and even doubted it would happen. Now, at long last, Rob and I have a contract on our house!

The past six months seem like a swirling whirlwind of showings, price drops, timid buyers, and the painstaking process of negotiations. I wish I could say I maintained a sense of calm serenity throughout the process–that I clung to faith and held fast to the bigger picture. You know, “It’s the journey not the destination”, type of attitude.

Alas, that would just be my conniving ego trying to convince myself and my readers that I have it all together despite what’s happening in my life. The truth is, there were highs and there were lows. Some days, I was the optimistic one. The one who knew that everything would work out and who had the foresight to encourage us to enjoy our time left at the homestead. Then there were days when I threw a huge pity party for myself. I pouted and moped about, wondering why things were not working out the way I expected them to. Thankfully, Rob and I traded off these roles quite well so when one of us was feeling down the other was there to encourage and support.

Now that the long awaited moment is here, I am surprised at my reaction. Maybe it’s because we have been through so many ups and downs in this process that I’m afraid to get too excited prematurely. After all, we still have to go though the closing process and as we have learned, anything can happen between now and then. My attitude is still hopeful, but I think I will save the elation for the moment when all the hurdles are jumped, and we have safely landed on our feet.

Until then, I will try my best to detach myself from the situation and look at things from a larger perspective. After seeing lots of hawks in the past few weeks–more so than usual–I believe that is what the Universe is lovingly trying to remind me of. If you have read my previous blog post on animal totems this won’t sound off to you. The messages brought by the hawk are often about freeing yourself of thoughts and beliefs that are limiting your ability to soar above your life and gain a greater perspective.

To me, this greater perspective is to embrace the daily blessings in life. Regardless of how the closing goes, I have so much to be thankful for. The hawk reminds me to be still and watchful. I will soak in as much as I can, and when the time comes, I will spread my wings in preparation for the next journey.

Before the first cold snap this year–which for us Floridians happened rather late in the season–we harvested as much as we could of our beloved garden bounty. New for us was the experience of unearthing the exotic looking rhizome of the turmeric plant.

I struggled for awhile on the “best” use of our cherished rhizome as I couldn’t bear the thought of wasting it on fruitless experimentation–experimentation being the name of the game for me at the moment as a “fledgling herbalist” with little training or formal education in herbal medicine. Nevertheless, I decided to make a fresh tincture with most of the rhizome as I am familiar with the process of tincturing and wanted to extract as much of the medicinal properties of the plant as possible. 

 It is not my intention for this post to be a tincture tutorial. There are numerous resources and information out there on the subject matter. I will however tell you there are generally three steps in the process–that is typically from a western herbalism perspective. Chinese Traditional Medicine (TCM) and Ayurveda take different approaches–both of which I am not as familiar with, thus influencing my decision to steer clear from getting into too much detail on the tincture process.

For starters, I scarified the herb which is a fancy way of saying I cut it up into small pieces. You can also use a grinder or food processor if you prefer. I filled a small jar about 3/4 full with the scarified rhizome. Second in the process involves selecting a menstrum. The menstrum is what extracts the medicinal properties from the plant. Alcohol, apple cider vinegar, and vegetable glycerin are popular menstrums. I chose to use 80 proof vodka for this particular project, which I poured over the turmeric and up to the brim of the jar.

 The final stage of the process involves patience and a little TLC. I placed the tightly sealed jar in a dark place so it would not be exposed to light, shaking it daily or as often as I remembered to. The jar has been sitting for over a month now and is ready for the last step of decanting.

I can’t wait to decant the tincture, bottle it up in a shiny cobalt blue bottle and reap the benefits this amazing plant has to offer. Here are some interesting facts:

• Latin name is Curcuma Longa
• Same family of herbs as ginger Zingiberaceae
• Part used in the root or rhizome
• Native to India and Southern Asia
• Has anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties
• Stimulates bile flow and has been used to treat liver problems including jaundice
• Contains curcumin and curcuminoids
• Several research studies indicate the ability of curcumin along with the genistein found in soy to inhibit the formation of cancer in breast tissue (used in tandem and not individually)
• Curcumin inhibits oral squamous cell carcinoma more effectively than either genistein or quercetin
• Some of curcumin’s functions may lesson the risk of forming blot clots and reduce cholesterol levels
• Antiviral
• Curcumin can prevent kidney injury caused by adriamycin (drug commonly used in chemotherapy)
• Curcumin has been used to combat the pain and swelling associated with athritis
• Topical application of curcumin encourages wound healing and new skin formation
• According to research, the piperine in pepper improves the body’s ability to use tumeric “perhaps as much as twentyfold”

Sources:

Duke, James A. The Green Pharmacy Herbal Handbook: A Comprehensive, Authoritative Guide to the Best Herbs for Healing. New York: St. Martin’s Paperbacks, 2000. print.

Chevallier, Andrew. Herbal Remedies. New York: Metro Books, 2007. print.

Disease Prevention and Treatment: Scientific Protocols that Integrate Mainstream and Alternative Medicine. Hollywood: Life Extension Media, 2003. print.

I recently found out about Pinterest. Being the “out of touch with the rest of the world” type, I’m usually the last one to find out about the latest and greatest. Be that as it may, I am delighted to have discovered it for one reason–it is a mecca for all things DIY!

I love being crafty–especially when it involves “re-purposing” things that would otherwise be headed on that final journey to the landfill. There is just something about making things with my hands. Perhaps it fills the artistic expression I long for–especially since my art supplies have been collecting a layer of dust lately.

One of my resolutions this year was to take time for myself doing things I love. So, I decided to implement sewing/craft dates with my fabulous momma twice a month. She just happens to not only kick ass when it comes to crafting and sewing but she also lives close by and has tons of craft supplies.

The inspiration for our first sewing date came from Pinterest of course and as you can guess from the pic below, neckties!

We made super cute necklaces out of these old ties (thanks Bob for donating to the cause). You can get complete instructions from the Green Eggs and Hamm blog.

Voila! The end result…

Did you happen to catch the cute headband as well? Also a Pinterest find. I crocheted this headband in like 30 minutes and I love the way it came out. Here are the instructions from Crochet Time as well as a close up pic….

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for anyone spending hours and hours on Pinterest. Remember…..”all things in moderation” or BALANCE for short :)

An invigorating aroma, assortment of cones, shade from the Florida sun, and needles galore–all gifts provided from one tree. Recently, I’ve discovered there’s even more to celebrate about Pines.

We’re blessed to have pines–mostly slash pines–scattered throughout our property. I love to look up at them–standing like tall sentinels, protectors of the sky. There’s also the soothing sound the wind makes as it rustles the needles and the soft cushion the fallen ones provide for bare feet. I knew about all these qualities but was wholly unaware of the medicinal powerhouse packed inside each needle.

I came across this YouTube video on pine needle tea which launched me into a fact finding mission. Here are some of the interesting things I discovered…

• Prized by Native Americans and the early settlers for its rich Vitamin A and C content
• Often used to treat scurvy caused by Vitamin C deficiency
• The amount of Vitamin C is reported to be 5 times the amount found in a lemon
• High in fat-soluble vitamin A, an antioxidant beta-carotene, which is needed for healthy vision (especially in low light situations), skin and hair regeneration, and red blood cell production
• Acts as an expectorant and decongestant
• Many varieties of pine can be used, although I read several sources saying white pine (Pinus strobus) is preferred
• WARNING: Do not consume pine needle tea if you are pregnant or trying to conceive due to reports that digestion of pine needle products have caused aborted pregnancies.

I prepared the pine needle tea the same way indicated in the video above. I found a smaller slash pine with branches I could reach and selected a cluster of needles at the end of the branch (these are supposed to be the younger needles and better for tea). I cut up the needles into 1.5 inch pieces and discarded the brown ends. I brought some water to a boil and poured it into my little glass tea pot and let it steep for about 20 minutes. Don’t boil the water with the needles in it because the vitamin C is heat sensitive and it will end up tasting more like turpentine!

I love the aroma and taste of the tea. I think I will experiment and add a slice of ginger root into my next batch. Enjoy!

Oh and here is a cute wreath alternative I made for Christmas from pine cones–another gift from the pine tree that I love to use for decorations and crafts.

This Thanksgiving our table is going to look very different than it has for the past 7 years. What’s the difference? Well, for starters it will hold the traditional mainstay Thanksgiving is known for. That’s right–turkey. This might not seem like an earth shattering revelation to some, but for me it is and it’s complicated.

It’s complicated because I’m not eating just any meat. I haven’t told everyone yet for this very reason–I can just imagine them trying to coax me into eating all sorts of meat concoctions while silently celebrating the fact that I’ve crossed over to the other side. I’m not on their side though and I’m certainly not on the vegetarian team anymore. So where does this leave me? I guess somewhere in the middle….

Our turkey is not a Butterball turkey–forced to live out its short life in a cage being fattened with corn and soy until the time comes when it can barely stand–its legs no longer able to support its unnatural weight. The difference between our turkey and the majority of unfortunate birds adorning tables across America is simple–it actually got to be a turkey. We ordered a free range turkey from a local farmer who takes great pride in his work. The turkeys are happy and healthy and raised in a sustainable way.

The book “Animal, Vegetable, Miracle” by Barbara Kingsolver comes to mind. Kingsolver’s family chose to eat healthy foods within 100 miles of their homestead. Their eldest daughter answered her college friends questions of whether she was a vegetarian or not with a simple explanation. She informed them that she did eat meat but only if she knew where the meat came from and how the animal was raised. I think I will follow her lead and adopt this simple answer as my own. As for whether or not this answer will suffice as an adequate explanation for people–only time will tell.

So for those of you who want to know the juicy details of our conversion from 7 years of vegetarianism to meat eating here’s how it went down. About 2 months or so ago Rob and I decided to eat seafood again. Seafood was the one thing I craved and ultimately I gave in to that craving. Rob did some awesome research on the best kinds of fish/seafood to eat in terms of nutrient value as well as methods of harvesting. I think my body was trying to tell me it was lacking and I’m very grateful that I listened to it.

Then one day, opportunity came knocking. Some very good homestead friends of ours were about to process some of their laying hens who had stopped laying as well as some ducks. Rob told me he wanted to go and help out so he could at least know how to do it. He went there that day not already determined to eat meat but rather to learn a new skill and be involved in the process from start to finish. I wasn’t there during the day so my details are second hand. I was there for the meal that night though and remember it vividly. “I kind of feel like I should at least taste this” Rob said of the duck meat that sat in thin slices on a white platter in the middle of our friends’ table. I can’t really explain it. Something inside just switched and felt right. “I want to eat it too,” I said.

Bursts of flavor exploded in my mouth as I savored the first bite. Rob and I looked at each other then, half expecting a gag reflux or some other adverse reaction. On the contrary–memories of the taste of meat flooded back to me. “This taste like pot roast,” I exclaimed. Our friends were very nonchalant about the whole thing and thankfully didn’t make a big deal out of it. Since the duck experience, we’ve dined on pastured lamb (that our homestead friends raise), venison, wild boar, chicken, and rabbit. I didn’t care much for the rabbit at all but the lamb, duck, and venison made a three way tie for first place in my book.

I’ve explained the “how” of our conversion and now let me tackle the “why.” I know it sounds corny to reference the cycle of life and the whole death is a necessary part of life thing but it’s true. Being exposed to homesteaders like us who are trying to live simple sustainable lives reminds me of this cycle every day. I’ve seen first hand how animals can play a vital role in local healthy food sources especially in a rural community like ours. We don’t have farmer’s markets in every town like other places in the country–finding organic produce is especially difficult. We don’t produce enough at the moment to eat a well balanced vegetarian diet. I can’t live on sweet potatoes and lettuce alone–well I guess I could but why do that to my body?

I’ve come to the conclusion that is more sustainable to eat a local organic diet, one that includes meat. Only meat from animals who are pastured, humanely treated, wild, and/or not pumped full of hormones and antibiotics. “Carpe carne” as our other homestead friends say. They routinely get venison and wild boar from hunters they know, some of which they have passed along to us. Which brings me to my other point. We aren’t going to eat meat three times a day, or even every day for that matter like most Americans do. Like everything else, in moderation.

Lastly, I just feel better. I haven’t been as tired or lethargic lately (I’ve had bouts of anemia on and off throughout my life). I typically loaded up on carbs like pasta, bread, rice, etc. to get full enough. I don’t have to do that with meat—a small portion is all I need to satisfy my hunger and provide my body with nutrients I think it needs.

I’m not writing this post to convince vegetarians to start eating meat or visa-verse. There is too much of that rhetoric already out there. I’m just letting you all know the new path I’ve embarked on and why. I also hope to inspire you to eat more healthy, organic, local, and sustainable foods–be it broccoli or beef. So Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Let’s eat!

I know it’s been awhile since my last post (sigh). I promised myself I would keep up with my blogging–no excuses and no matter what was happening in my life. I do have an excuse though. Not only have I been very busy but we didn’t have a working camera for a while there. I like visuals with posts so I told myself I would wait until we got the camera issue resolved.

The house process has been very slow to say the least. It’s been on the market for a month now with only one couple coming for a showing. I have good days and bad ones. Some days I am anxious about the whole thing and doubt whether or not we can pull this off. Other days I have what I like to refer to as a “pit bull” determination-letting nothing stand in my way . It hasn’t been all ups and downs though. Life has a way of going on. The sun still rises and sets, I go to work and let the mundane tasks take over–numbing my mind like Novocaine.

In the mean time, being here does have its benefits and we certainly are blessed. Rob and I have been going for walks on a regular basis. Like a good warm cup of herbal tea, these walks nourish my soul and rejuvenate my body.

There are so many wildflowers and herbs in bloom this time of year. The fields are like a real life painting–tiny brushstrokes splashing vivid purples and rich yellows onto the canvas. Perhaps the most vivid of all is the rich hue of golden rod. I’ve gotten to know this exquisite plant over the last few weeks and I wanted to share the experience. Here is what I’ve learned……

Genus: Solidago

Family: Asteraceae

Species: There are approximately 100 species in the genus Solidago…I’m not exactly sure which species we have here.

One of the first things I noticed about this plant–aside from the striking gold blossoms–was the vast array of insect activity. Lots of tiny bees swarmed the blossoms–hovering in mid air before landing to collect the pollen. A brown species of spider I had never seen before cleverly perched themselves on the stalks–patiently waiting for an unsuspecting bee to hover within reach.

This brings me to another factoid I learned about Solidago. It seems this genus much like the bra burning feminists of the 1960′s has gotten a bad rap. You see, many people attribute their seasonal allergies to this plant–blaming it for many a runny nose, watery eye, experience. If we look deeper, the bee is actually giving us a really good clue. Golden Rod is not pollinated by the wind–so unless you have your face right up in the flowers, you will be fine. It is the infamous ragweed which also blooms this time of year that is the more likely allergy culprit. That being said, as with any plant, it is a good idea to test a small amount first to make sure there are no adverse reactions.

I’ve prepared the golden rod I collected in several ways. I made a tea with the fresh blooms, leaves and stems as well as with some blooms and leaves that were dried. My primary purpose of preparing the herb this way was for a urinary tract tonic. Golden Rod is a diuretic which means it increases the excretion of water from the body–aka it makes you pee and flushes out the urinary tract. I’m hoping that regular cups of this herbal tea will prevent me from getting urinary tract infections which I have been prone to in the past. Historically, Solidago has been used to both prevent and treat kidney stones and kidney infections (kidney infections are very serious and potentially dangerous so please consult a doctor). The tea has a very pleasant slightly anise flavor to me and looks gorgeous steeping in the glass tea pot I have.

I’ve also prepared an oil tincture which I will use externally as a salve. Golden Rod has many other common names, one of which is Woundwort because it has an excellent reputation for healing old oozing wounds that seem to have a hard time healing. In addition, rubbing the salve on achy muscles or on the abdomen if there is cramping will provide soothing relief.

Lastly, I plan to prepare a tincture with vegetable glycerin as the menstrum. I’m thinking I will experiment by adding a tablespoon of the glycerin tincture to teas in the winter time– Golden Rod is also effective for treating winter time blues known as SAD (seasonal affective disorder). It is a general pick-me-up that can be used to elevate mood and treat chronic fatigue.

If you want to learn more about the medicinal properties of Solidago in addition to other interesting factoids, I highly recommend Kiva Rose’s blog post.

Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each.  ~ Henry David Thoreau

I love fall and all its associates–cool breezes, warm tones, pumpkin spice, brassicas, and bon fires. Granted, us Floridians get the short end of the stick when it comes to Autumn but I still get the warm and fuzzies this time of year all the same.

I guess you could say I love the seasons in general–each one possessing its own magic and ability to transport me back to my childhood days. I loved dragging boxes out from the garage–peering inside at the colorful array of decorations and turning our house into a spooky sight for Halloween or a Winter Wonder Land for Christmas.

Now that I am a grown-up, the seasons mean more to me than just decorations and tradition (although I still like that part too). They symbolize change. It’s almost like they force us ready or not to embrace letting go. One day it’s warm and sunny out and the next brings a cool breeze. It doesn’t matter what you do. You can resist the change by refusing to bring out your winter clothes (yes I have done this), but ultimately we have no control over any of it. Winter will come even if we don’t want it to. It’s all very humbling actually–we are reminded that we are only a small part of something much larger than ourselves and in fact the world does not revolve around us.

This fall isn’t just bringing a change of weather and scenery for us. It’s bringing the kind of massive life change that most people spend an exorbitant amount of time and energy resisting. After months and months of discussion (some of them very lively ones), Rob and I have decided to put our homestead up for sale. Unfortunately I have to be very elusive here. I can’t disclose just yet our plans and reasoning behind our decision. You will just have to stay tuned…

For now, I am looking to the seasons for wisdom and encouragement. I am embracing change–not just with the weather but with my life.

We made mistakes when starting our homestead.  We didn’t know then what we know now. I’ll be posting about these lessons in a series of blog posts, so be sure to check back. We are by no means experts on starting a homestead. We can however, speak from our own experience–especially related to things we would do differently ourselves if given the opportunity. Hopefully, someone else can benefit from our lessons learned.

This post features a his and her perspective on romanticizing homesteading with a guest appearance from my husband Rob. He’ll tell you his thoughts on the matter and I will follow up with mine.

Rob and I back in 2007 in Oregon

Rob: So many “green” magazines, blogs, books, and speakers paint an idyllic life where one can escape the “rat race.” I guess it’s to be expected when they see it as a way to save the world. Just like any other partisan or religious zealot, they make the koolaid extra sweet for new recruits.

Homesteading is far from less work. Sure it’s possible to work more efficiently, which we will go into detail later about in a post on planning. But there are numerous mind-numbingly repetitive, physically exhausting tasks that cannot be avoided. So much of us in developed countries are hooked on unsustainable, fossil-fueled culture for a reason: it’s incredibly easy and convenient in the short term to externalize your costs to other people and future generations. Those of us who want to try something else just take the longer view. We realize in the end our decisions have consequences that we will not be able to avoid forever.

Don’t get me wrong, there are short term benefits. By far the most popular are healthier food and a deeper connection to our surroundings. This can be magical but it also takes a quite a bit of rollin’ up the sleeves and putting in the time and hard work. In my experience working at farms as well as being a host for WWOOFers, beginners who are interested for idealistic reasons are often surprised or unprepared at the level of physical work and time required. It doesn’t help that when starting out the learning curve can be quite high. My neighbor is partly right when he says he doesn’t plant a garden because he doesn’t get out of it what he puts in it. Inertia is a hurdle in of itself to overcome.

I do not wish to dampen enthusiasm. I’d rather channel it into getting concrete about desires/goals and then implementing them. Another stumbling block for enthusiastic beginners is going too far too fast . It’s another frequent mistake that I’ve fell into and also seen repeated. Start small, test, observe, tweak, then expand and scale up *one* notch. It’s easier to start with a few or even one patch of blueberries, work out the kinks, and expand slowly instead of planting acres just to figure out the soil needs significantly lower pH or they need more shade. As a teacher of mine was fond of saying, we don’t have time to rush.

Christina: I have mixed feelings/thoughts about this issue. On the one hand, having a positive attitude and going full throttle towards my dreams happens to be a major component of my philosophy on life–but throw that in with a tendency of naivete and you have a recipe for romanticism. You know what I mean by romanticism–seeing everything through rose colored glasses. I’m not ready to toss out my half full glass let alone my dream pursuit so where does that leave things? For me, the homesteading experience has been a lesson on finding balance–balance between a positive attitude and a deeper connection to my true feelings.

Let me explain what I mean here. Rob and I were desperate to have a homestead–years of renting, work on organic farms, our trip to Portland, Oregon all major factors supporting our desperation. This coupled with the assurance from homesteaders featured online and in magazines like Mother Eartth News that the homesteading life was easily attainable and the solution to a good majority of life’s woes–we were sold and couldn’t wait to own our “own little peace of heaven.”

Here’s where the romanticism and naivete comes into play. With no concept whatsoever on how to draft a permaculture design let alone implement one, no plan on how we were going to financially support our endeavor (see money and debt post for more on this), and no idea how many sweat equity hours were headed our way–we jumped right in and bought the first home with acreage that looked good.

I definitely had my rose colored glasses on at this point, which translated into a quick repression of any doubts or hesitations that came into my mind. Maybe this house is too big for us, or half the property floods in the summer, or there really isn’t anyone in our immediate area to learn from. These were all thoughts I didn’t pay attention to. I wanted it now and was convinced that this property was all we were lacking in life.

If I were to do things over again, I would have encouraged those doubts. Not so the doubts would take over and lead to a fear based perspective, but so I could really dig deeper inside myself and spend some time contemplating what I really wanted. I would also have planned more and spent time visiting homesteads and talking with homesteaders about their experiences.

Granted we were different people then than we are now and it is easy to look back on things–hindsight is 20/20 as they say. I’m not saying I regret our decision or the past 3 years we’ve spent on the homestead. On the contrary actually, we’ve learned so much and I am eternally grateful for this opportunity. If nothing else this experience has helped me to flush out my dreams even more and has been an excellent stepping stone.

I’m also not saying that I am done with the homestead life. There is no going back for me–just a future full of growth, success, and gratitude. I’ll even keep those rose colored glasses. Thankfully I’ve learned when it is appropriate to wear them and when I should take them off.

Once upon a time…

No, just kidding–this isn’t that kind of story. It’s not that I was ever a huge fan of hummingbirds, I just never gave them much thought–until recently that is.

I would say I had your typical run of the mill hummingbird experiences–getting excited if I was given the rare opportunity to catch sight of one and of course I always thought them to be fascinating little creatures.

I can even remember childhood memories involving this long beaked bird. My grandmother was really into hummingbirds–feeding them, growing certain plants to attract them, and collecting anything and everything with a hummingbird pictured on it. I would sit and watch her mix up the magical red potion she poured into the plastic containers with bright yellow flowers painted on them. I waited just inside the window after she hung the feeders up outside–hoping to catch a glimpse. Eventually I would get bored and move on to something else.

Fast-forward to the present with recent events that brought this winged beauty back to the forefront of my consciousness. During our stay at Mountain Gardens in Burnsville, NC I had several encounters with hummingbirds. The first occurred during a peaceful morning meditation ritual. I found a secluded spot in the garden, tucked away and hidden from sight. I sat on an old weathered bench and removed my shoes so I could feel the wet grass underneath my feet. Eyes closed to shut out the world I focused on my breath flowing in and out of my body. It was then that I heard the faint humming sound nearby and opened my eyes to behold the party responsible for the noise. Sure enough, right in front of me was a tiny hummingbird doing its dance from flower to flower. This brought a smile to my face and increased the already growing sense of inner peace I was experiencing.

During the next week I caught sight of more hummingbirds–only one at a time and when no one else was around. By the time I would call out for Rob or someone else to come and have a look the hummingbird would vanish. I also remember a story that was told to me during this time by one of the interns at Mountain Gardens. The story involved his discovery of an injured hummingbird and how he nursed it back to health. Although I thought the story was cute and I did enjoy seeing the hummingbirds, I was too caught up in our adventures to pay much notice to the fact the hummingbirds kept making their way into my life.

Oddly enough however, the hummingbird encounters continued in the weeks following our return home. One encounter in particular I remember vividly. I had  just walked a few feet outside our front door when a duo of hummingbirds darted right in front of me. They buzzed around me as I was standing very near to several blooming flowers they were interested in. I stayed with them awhile noting to myself how rare it was to see them at our place and even rarer to see a pair . I went inside to get Rob but they had disappeared when we came back out to see them. Later that day I came outside again and within a few seconds another one appeared.

This time, I started to pay attention–even started to believe this was beyond coincidence. I remember telling Rob about the strange encounters and made a mental note to do some research. By research I don’t mean going on a fact hunting mission to find out as many details as possible about hummingbirds–by the way, did you know they are the only group of birds that can fly backwards?

I wanted to delve into totem animals and their meanings. About a year ago or so, I went to a class at a metaphysical center which introduced me to the concept of totem animals which happens to be pervasive throughout many Native American traditions. Because there are so many perspectives, traditions, and thoughts out there regarding totem animals, it’s quite difficult to give you a basic definition. So in a nutshell, many people believe that certain animals appear mysteriously in our lives to help guide us through the physical and spiritual world. Each animal carries with it certain meanings and often times symbolizes something pertinent to our lives such as an important decision to make, guidance through tough times, inspiration, etc.

I decided to look into the symbolism regarding hummingbirds and what I found out gave me goosebumps. I want you to read the exact words I read–fearing that much will be lost if I attempt to summarize. I bolded the parts that especially resonated with me.

In Medicine Cards: The Discovery Of Power Through The Ways Of Animals, Jamie Sams and David Carson say that, “for many people, the hummingbird is the creature that opens the heart. When we assume hummingbird consciousness, our life becomes a wonderland of sensuous delights. We live for beauty, delighting in flowers, aromas, fine mist, and delicate tastes.”

When it becomes our totem the hummingbird teaches us to laugh and enjoy the creation, to appreciate the magic of being alive and the truth of beauty.

Hummingbirds awaken us to the beauty of the present moment. As they dance the four quarters of embodied existence, they bring us medicine to solve the riddle of duality. They also awaken us to the medicinal properties of plants.

In Animal Speak, Ted Andrews says “hummingbirds teach us how to draw the life essence from flowers. ” They can teach us how to use flowers to heal and win hearts in love.”

Hummingbirds teach us fierce independence. They teach us to fight in a way where no one really gets hurt. They teach us simple courage. Andrews says the twittering, vibrating sounds of the hummingbirds bring us an internal massage that restores health and balance.

Hummingbirds also inspire us to protect the environment and to preserve old traditions that are in danger of being lost.

It might not be immediately clear to you why this means so much to me. Recently, I’ve had to make some tough decisions–ones that take courage to make and the “fierce independence” referenced above. These decisions required me to do lots of soul searching and to listen to my inner voice.

You see, I’ve decided how I would like the next chapter of my life to unfold. This chapter is vastly different than the one I am currently on but I am taking a pen in hand and changing the plot anyways. I want to become an herbalist and immerse myself in the ancient healing tradition of herbal medicine.

I believe my hummingbird friends were bringing me a message–confirming my desires to pursue herbal medicine and to go confidently in the direction of my dreams. Who says we can’t receive messages from above? Even ones that come in the tiniest of packages….

I encourage you to pay more attention to the creatures you come into contact with. You can write the whole animal totem thing off as metaphysical mumbo jumbo, but as for this girl, I’m a believer.